Super Pussy. Now that’s a bar name you’d never likely forget anytime soon.

I was browsing through souvenirs being sold at the open-aired Patpong Road Night Market when I came across the glowing neon sign announcing that it has, well, Super Pussy. Whatever that means, I leave up to your imaginations.

EN ROUTE TO PATPONG ROAD

After a filling dinner at the very touristy Asiatique The Riverfront, instead of going straight to Khao San Road for a few bottles of beer, as we usually do when in Bangkok, the gang decided to head out to the more infamous street in the city, Patpong Road.

A few days in Thailand and we finally gave in to curiosity. And you know what they say about curiosity and pussies, err, I mean cats.

PATPONG 3, WHERE THE GAYBARS ARE LOCATED

We were unheedable. Ignoring our better judgments, we road a cab and alighted at Bangkok’s infamous red light district. It was our first time. And like green fresh-out-of-high-school kids, we were unsure what to expect.

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PATPONG NIGHT MARKET

It turns out there was nothing to worry about. As long as we keep out of the dark second-storey bars that can only be accessed thru narrow wooden stairways in between shops (my friend told me all about it). Patpong, which is divided into three creatively named streets—Patpong 1, 2, and 3—were mostly about regular bars; some with a bit of a go-go, whatever that means, and shopping.

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SOUVENIRS AT THE PATPONG NIGHT MARKET

The place was filled with all sorts of junk that any self-respecting tourists would need to own. They have tons of singlet proclaiming that Same Same can be Different, jiggers embossed with Wat Arun in gold, thousands of key chains and ref magnets, and of course, the ubiquitous tuktuk in all forms and shapes. It was a tourist shopper’s paradise.

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PATPONG CAN ACTUALLY BE FOR EVERYONE

It reminded be somewhat of the Chiang Mai Night Bazaar, that is until a suspiciously too cheery guy in plaid shirt and cap approached us. ”Ping pong show?” He smilingly asked. Chiang Mai’s night market immediately faded out of my head and was immediately replaced by Phuket’s Bangla Road.

PATPONG 2, I THINK

With all the scams we’ve been hearing about Patpong’s crazy nightlife, we should’ve said no. But our curiosity took the better of us and we croaked out a high-pitched okay. It was, as what the guy said, free of charge after all. Well, not exactly, but we only get to pay their slightly overcharged beer and that was that.

NO PICTURES ALLOWED INSIDE THE PING PONG SHOW

So up we went through one of those dark staircases and into an even darker room. We sat. And ogled.

Soon, we were handed bottles of beer and ping pong paddles—which if you plan to go, you should definitely not refuse, by the way.

And then the show started. Slightly middle aged ladies, which umm, were not really supermodel material, to put it mildly, did their thing. Ping pong balls careened off left and right—you definitely should have a paddle. Then a hands-free dart show ensued, and then a few more. It was a show that’s definitely not for the faint of heart.

Having had enough—and it was quite quick—we really didn’t enjoy the show, we went to a table to settle our bill. Lo and behold, we were being charged 16,000.00 baht (491.00 USD) for everything instead of the agreed upon 400.00 baht for four beers. They were saying that the free look that comes with our beer only extends to one performance, since we saw a few more, we must pay for those too.

With steel for nerves, my buddy laid down what’s due for our beers, told the lady off with her dagger looks and in a booming voice said, “That’s all we would be paying.” We stormed out of there faster than bats out of hell.

We experienced the usual modus for Patpong’s scam and we should’ve called the Tourist Police on them—which one should do in case you get scammed like that, they’re usually stationed at Patpong 1—but we really didn’t know it at the time. What we should’ve done in the first place was to simply heed the warnings in our head and enjoyed shopping instead.

Remember that story of the much too curious cat? Lesson learned.

Patpong Bangkok
Address: Phat Pong, Surawong, Bangkok, Thailand, 
Opening Hours: Party starts after dark
GPS Coordinates Map: 13.729371, 100.531545